We Don’t Rise To Our Potential, We Drop To What We Believe We Deserve.

You know, how we feel about ourselves and our worth drives everything in our lives. It determines what we believe about who we are and what we can and will become.  In fact, there’s a saying that in life we don’t rise to our potential, we drop to accept what we believe we deserve. 

I think there’s a lot of truth in that statement. We often don’t ascend to the level of our dreams, we stay stuck at  the level we think we deserve. As a result, we talk ourselves out of goals and dreams and aspirations or we give up too soon. And we tell ourselves that it’s fine. You may wonder, why on earth would we do that? Usually, it’s because there’s a story in our head about what we believe about ourselves and what we think we can have. Often, it’s a story that tells us we’re not enough and so we hold back, play small, and express only part of ourselves. 

But here’s the thing, anything (or anyone) that tells you you’re not deserving of the life you want, that you’re not enough - is a lie. You are more than enough just as you are. The challenge is that you need to start believing it. The good news is, if that’s what you want you’re in the right place.  

Changing this relationship with yourself requires a little reprogramming.

It starts by identifying the story in our head that's holding us back and then learning to replace  it with a new story that is truer, more supportive, and more empowering. Likely that story is based on something we were told, or we experienced a long time ago. Maybe when we were a small child. Chances are what we were told wasn’t something that was true for us, but the child inside of us accepted it as truth. The child inside us, hung onto that thought which over time became a belief and now, in its own way has become part of our identity. It’s defining us and limiting us.

Let me give you an example of what I’m talking about. It’s a story of a woman who loved music. It was her greatest passion. She always harbored a deep-seated desire to become a singer though she never chased after that dream because she said she didn’t think she had a good voice. She didn't pursue her passion and never sang in public. When asked how she came to feel this way about her singing ability, she relayed the story of being a small child, singing at home as she played with her toys. Her mother came into the room where she was singing and playing and snapped at her. Her mother shouted and told the girl to stop singing. She complained that she didn’t like the girl’s singing and that it hurt her ears. The child interpreted this harsh reaction to mean that she didn’t have a good voice and that that’s why her mother was upset. The girl wasn’t old enough to understand that maybe her mother’s reaction was due to some other stress that she was dealing with at the time and that her anger was misplaced. Nevertheless, she let this story take hold and it kept her from expressing this part of herself and feeling the sense of fulfillment she’d get from pursuing something that gives her so much joy.

All too often these stories we believe about ourselves are based on something we were told by a parent, a teacher, a coach, a minister, or some other person of influence in our young lives.

It was just a thought or a comment that came out of the mouth of some other imperfect person and over time it took root. We accepted it as truth when in fact it may not be true for us. But it was something handed to us as a truth before we were mature enough to decide for ourselves. And now, so many years later this false belief about who we are may be limiting us in ways we aren’t even aware. In turn we may be allowing it to shape who we become in the world.

So, is there a limiting story that shapes what you believe about you? Here’s a tell. That story inside you often starts with the words, “I can’t because...”

Here’s a truth: you CAN be or do anything. And you can re-write that story and create a newer, truer and more empowering one at any time. How ‘bout now?

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If you found this helpful please check out the other articles, tools and resources on this site. My mission is to help you to remove the fear and doubt and limitations that may be holding you back and help you unlock your personal power to create a life that is truer, more fulfilling and empowering for you.